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"Speed Dating Experience" Hosted at Michael's Cafe on Feb. 13 in Phoenix

Phoenix, you've been asking for it, so we are delivering...Get ready for the Speed Dating Experience! This event will take place every month at Michael's Cafe located at 5025 N.7th Avenue in Central Phoenix. Our first event will be held on February 13th from 6-8pm.

Participants will experience speed dating as an opportunity to learn about life, love and the power of connections.

Complimentary admission courtesy of the ladies of Global Unity Wellness, LLC.

Please register for this event by contacting Summer at (520) 280-1001 or RSVP at guconnections@gmail.com.

All participants for the Pre-Valentine's Day experience will receive a special rose. There are also special giveaways included. This is an event you do not want to miss. Come on out, let go and enjoy this experience!

Prostate Cancer Project at Arizona State University Seeking Minority Participants

Are you:

• An African American/Black and Latino/Hispanic male?
• In a committed relationship with a female partner?
• Treated for Prostate Cancer within the last 5 years?

If you answered yes to all three questions and are willing to share your experiences, the Prostate Cancer Project at Arizona State University at the Downtown Phoenix campus invites your participation.

Through your participation, the Prostate Cancer Project hopes to:

• Learn more about experiences of couples facing prostate cancer.
• Learn about how these couples manage day-to-day life.
• Learn about the health, activities, and attitudes/opinions of these couples.

Men diagnosed with prostate cancer as well as their female partners will receive compensation for participating in a one-on-one interview.

WHAT IS THIS PROJECT’S PURPOSE?

• To learn from African American/Black, Latino/Hispanic and Caucasian/White men and their female partners about the impact of prostate cancer on their lives.
• To learn how to develop effective prostate cancer education and related programs for African American/Black, Latino/Hispanic and Caucasian/White men diagnosed with prostate cancer and their female partners.

For more information, please call 602-496-1239 (Aging and Behavioral Health Projects) and ask for Prostate Cancer Couples Project.

This project is supported by the National Cancer Institute.

Pulse Ministry for Singles on Saturday Nights at Living Word Bible Church in Mesa

It may be hot outside, but its cool at The PULSE. The PULSE is a ministry where singles - 25 years to 40ish - can network, build friendships, have fun, and get to know other singles every Saturday night at the Living Word Bible Church at 6:15pm in the Fellowship hall.

Living Word Bible Church is located at 3520 East Brown Rd, Mesa, AZ 85213.

The PULSE is not your typical singles group, it’s different. It’s for the modern day single looking for more, looking for a place where the heartbeat of every single beats in rhythm with the heartbeat of Jesus! One Lord, One Body, One Sprit, One Heartbeat!

For more information call 480.964.4463, Ext. 104 or you can e-mail 4thepulse@gmail.com.

The Relationship Guy: When It Comes to Love, Talking About Money Is a Worthy Investment of Your Time

PhxSoul.com columnist, "The Relationship Guy," will provide his monthly perspectives on love, dating and relationships. PhxSoul.com encourages you to read The Relationship Guy's takes and share your feedback!

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about relationship finances. We seem to have conflicting opinions about relationship money management. I thought to myself that I was glad I was not in the relationship with my friend or the woman in question. The scenario focuses on a woman, but we all know the gender component can be changed.

This couple has been together for more five years and their three children are ages 10, 8 and 3. The wife has been employed at her current company for almost five years and earns an income of approximately $50,000 annually. The husband owns a business that generates almost a six figure income after all expenses are paid. Looking at this family from an outside view, most would say they have more than enough to live comfortably.

The husband owns a financial consultation firm which means he is very good with handling money and providing advice to others.

However, his wife feels that she doesn’t need his assistance with her finances because she had been doing her own accounting and budgeting before they met.

Unfortunately, they have engaged in bi-weekly heated discussions because the wife is consistently requesting that the husband provide her with additional money from his business account because she runs out of her funds before her next pay check.

The husband makes sure the mortgage, car notes; insurance, medical and other assorted bills are paid from a joint account they both monitor. They each keep an individual account for personal purchases.

The wife’s complaint is that it’s OK to go over her budget every now and then. The husbands concern is she isn’t staying within her own budget.

Most of the money to support the family comes from his business as they agreed to split the bills according to the percentage of annual income in reference to the household budget. This allows for the wife to have less of a financial obligation to the budget and more to her personal wants.

Even though the woman earns approximately $50,000 annually, she feels that it is “the Man’s” responsibility to maintain the home. Whatever the wife brought in was what she called “gravy.” She further expressed that men should just understand that going over budget is “normal” for most women.

So, is it right for men to have to suck it up and expect to be in the red each month or just make this addition to the budget? What is a man to do?

It appears that the discussion of “family” money management needs to occur in detail before a couple says, “I do.” Many successful singles establish their spending habits before getting married and are reluctant to change even when they know it’s in their best interest. As long as there is a savings component in the budget, then what the wife or husband spends her money on is not an issue.

All in all, it appears sex, religion and money must be discussed in the same detail as two people going into business together. All things must be clear with no ambiguity. We call them “pre nuptials” but that’s really saying we may not know the expectations and goals of our partner.

Bottom line, turn off the phone, put down the X-box and get to know your mate before going to the altar.

If you would like to contact “The Relationship Guy,” please click on the Comments link below or send an e-mail to therelationshipguy@cox.net. The Relationship Guy’s articles do not necessarily reflect the views of PhxSoul.com.

The Relationship Guy: Loving and Knowing Yourself Is the Key to a Successful Relationship with Someone Else

PhxSoul.com's newest columnist, "The Relationship Guy," will provide his monthly perspectives on love, dating and relationships. PhxSoul.com encourages you to read The Relationship Guy's takes and share your feedback!

The conversation started with a question: “Why is it that people expect so much out of others, yet they want to bring the bare minimum to the table”?

The other black male standing there at this social networking function with me, rubbed his chin, looked with a sideways glance allowing his dimple to form on his right cheek and proceeded to reply: “That was a very general and blanket indictment on people”.

The very attractive women, not liking the sophisticated answer, shot back with: “Well, I'm talking in a general sense, honey.  But, if you need me to be specific then hear it is. Black men, always want a women that is smart, ambitious, takes care of the home, and a freak in the bed. If that’s the case, get it up and keep it up ma man!”

The women in the audience eyebrows all rose and nodded the heads in agreement.

My now good friend (a manly bond was formed as we were now the hunted), being the calm, collected intellectual he was, rubbed, his chin, looked with a sideways glance allowing his dimple to once again form on his right cheek, placed his hands behind his back and proceeded to respond.

“Another general and even more blanket statement. Last I checked there are approximately over 30,000 adult black men in the PHX metro area and I'm pretty sure you do not know all of them nor have you had relations with a substantial number of them. It has become far too easy for many of us to blame ALL for the actions of a few or our bad selection process.”

Some of the other women standing during this exchange, wanted to say something in her defense, but feared this very smart individual might reveal something in them with his keen insight. It was obvious she had been hurt and her expectations gone unfulfilled.

Listen, many of us have had our hearts broken and expectations severely unfilled. But, really, when we get down to it, how does a heart get broken? How does ones expectation go unfulfilled? If were in a relationship, and go into it with a heart fully intact, then it can not be broken. For the love of self is to accept another as they are, not for what we may want them to be. We may connect with the inner source and see this Great Spirit in another, but they may not see the same. In a sense, one sees the best in another better than one sees in it themselves. Sound strange? This is very common.

Many of us are seeking someone to love and respect us better than we love and respect ourselves. This will never happen. What attracts a person to another in most cases is when they see another person has a genuine love of self. Another example is there are individuals who see another with love of self and they want to latch on to that other to love them the way the other loves self. After a brief encounter, the one with love of self feels drained. The one taking the love of self from the other now feels depressed. The love that they were taking was like a drug. Now, this person, both males and females alike, are on to the next one. This behavior is very similar to an addict.

To avoid this in the future, we must enter into relationships knowing we as well as others have faults. The challenge is to know these faults are a work in progress and we are willing to allow someone to help us work on them at the same time keeping our strengths intact. This will move us from trying to meet or exceed others expectations and focus on gaining a better connection to the source from which we come from. We must be mindful of what we put in our thoughts as these thoughts become our physical actions. I have personally been wounded a time or two. However, there are far too many beautiful Black women in Phoenix to give one person that power.

If you would like to contact “The Relationship Guy,” please click on the Comments link below or send an e-mail to therelationshipguy@cox.net. The Relationship Guy’s articles do not necessarily reflect the views of PhxSoul.com.

The Relationship Guy: Is It Love or Insecurity?

PhxSoul.com is proud to introduce our newest columnist, Carlton Hamilton, aka "The Relationship Guy." The Relationship Guy will provide his monthly perspectives on love, dating and relationships. PhxSoul.com encourages you to read The Relationship Guy's takes and invites you to share your feedback!

Hello PhxSoul.com, my name is Carlton Hamilton and I will be your dating columnist. I’m from Chicago, IL and a graduate of Arizona State University in 2003 with a degree in sociology, African American studies and a minor in business. I have two children (8, 9) and I run a consulting firm which provides multiple services.

I have a passion for writing. In college, I wrote an opinion column for the school paper and a political opinion column for a local talk show host. My undergraduate studies in psychology and sociology have provided me with academic research about how the black community operates individually, in small and large groups. Also, my business minor focused on how economic issues impact the black community. 

I also played professional baseball for nine seasons. During that time, I traveled to 41 of the 50 states, 11 countries on 4 continents in 11 time zones experiencing multiple cultures.

My desire is to share knowledge through the discussion of the dynamics of relationships. I hope you enjoy what you read. I look forward to reading your replies and responding each month.

A friend of mine was at a birthday party a few weeks ago. As is typical of all parties is the proverbial group photo before everyone is too intoxicated to stand in one place. While everyone was scrambling for position like jockey’s at the Kentucky Derby, my friend decided to cuddle close to an attractive married man. As everyone else was jockeying for position, she proceeded to place her left arm around the married fellow to ensure she was completely in the shot. Nowadays, everyone has a phone with a camera on it. Gone are the days when people just carry around cameras solely to take photos. Kind of like having a printer at home that just prints. Most people have the combo printer, scanner and fax. Mine is actually 4 in 1, but I digress.

Some camera phones don’t have the capability to get everyone in the shot nor have the best clarity. So, my friend was just trying to get in where she fit in. As quickly as her hand came to rest on the opposite shoulder of the married gentleman, another had proceeded to slowly lift her fingers off the man. Then, toss them away in such a way as if there was something toxic on her fingers she didn’t want on the man. My friend found out later that the man’s wife was responsible for removing her hand. My friend was startled, but moved on without confrontation.

This begs the question: was this action love or insecurity? My opinion says this is, not was insecurity. Too often, men as well as women are concerned with the actions on the periphery of their relationships instead of what is going on right in front of them. As many of us do, we bring additional baggage on the cruise and want our partner to carry it. In this situation, one expects their partner to see their insecurity as love. If the action is questioned, the partner is then accused of infidelity. These are signs, singles overlook early in the relationship or fail to communicate during the casual dating process.

In my experience, it is best to create these scenarios during the casual dating process to see work product. Most of us have male and female friends before we commit to someone and should be able to keep and gain male and female relationships from that point forward. This is assuming, you’re dealing with a rational person.

Excuse me, I have to go. It appears a gentleman has his arm on the shoulder of my date. A little jealousy is OK. That is for another article.

If you would like to contact “The Relationship Guy,” please click on the Comments link below or send an e-mail to therelationshipguy@cox.net. The Relationship Guy’s articles do not necessarily reflect the views of PhxSoul.com.

 

Living Word Bible Church Hosting Weekly Singles Service on Saturday Nights in Mesa

L.I.V.E. (Love Inspired Victory Expectation), is a new weekly service just for singles that takes place every Saturday at 6:30 PM.

This power-packed service will include great praise and worship, along with a life-changing word from Pastor Carolyn Smith. She will speak on relevant topics that singles want to hear. Our desire is for singles to realize that they are valuable and not forgotten in the body of Christ. God wants them to know they have a purpose and boldly move forward in fulfilling their destiny.

After each service, there will be either a dance or some other L.I.V.E. activity. Childcare will be provided for those attending the service. L.I.V.E. provides an opportunity to become stronger in Christ, make new friends, and have fun each week.

The Living Word Bible Church is located at 3520 E. Brown Road in Mesa. For more information, please visit www.livingwordonline.org or call 480-964-4GOD.

Is There Really a Cure for Bad Breath? I Hope So!

We've all been in this situation ... you strike up a conversation with someone at Club Central or The Legion and then your nose quickly picks up on a smell that makes your eyes water and your ears twitch!

You do a quick breath check by covering your nostrils and your mouth and realize that it's not you.

Instead it's the person who's all in your face, talkin' nonstop and he/she has no clue that his/her breath smells like doo-doo!!

How many times has THIS happened? LOL!

You offer the person a breathmint and he/she always says, "Naw, naw, I'm cool!"

You think to yourself, "No you aint!! Yo breath is HOT!!"

I saw this banner ad and I had to post for a quick laugh! Why do I feel so bad for the kids who are featured in the ad?!

To all those victims of the bad breath blast ... I hope this product REALLY works!!

Best Places to Find Professional Black WOMEN in the Phoenix Area

A long time ago, I wrote an article about the Best Places to Find Professional Black Men in the Phoenix Area.

It was my attempt to help African American women pinpoint locations in the Valley where African American are seen in bunches most often.

In hindsight, I should have written about the Best Places to Find Professional Black Women in the Phoenix Area - a looooong time ago! Yes, this article is long overdue because it's HIGH time for black men to do a better job of pursuing these eligible bachelorettes! Of course, negroes still have to know how to talk a woman - I can't do ALL the work for you!

As a black man, I'm absolutely shocked to see black women outnumbering us at professional and community-oriented events! They normally outnumber us by a 3-to-1 ratio! And we're talkin' about beautiful black women who are looking to further their careers and contribute to the well-being of our society! When I meet the women in these environments, they are usually (not always) approachable, attractive, friendly and interesting!

I constantly find myself wondering where are the single brothas?

Even though I'm married and love my wife dearly, many of the women that I meet at networking socials and organizational meetings make my heart skip a beat. It's absolutely thrilling to meet these educated, independent and confident women! Remember ... I said I love my wife and she is the queen of my heart!

Without further ado FELLAS, put down your PlayStation controllers, step away from your computers, leave the basketball courts and TAKE NOTICE!

Here are the Top Best Places to Find Professional Black Women in the Phoenix Area:

5. Fundraisers - Of course you'll see more couples at fundraisers, but you'll also have opportunities to meet single African American females. You'll have more luck if you attend events that are hosted by women's organizations! If you don't meet your future wife at a local fundraiser, take heart in the fact that your donation contributed to a great cause!! 

4. Spoken Word/Live Music Events - I've seen some stunners at the local Spoken Word shows and concerts featuring up-and-coming R&B, soul and hip-hop artists! Groups of black women by themselves having a great time! Support the spoken word events and concerts - you'll be entertained by the performers and the eye-candy!

3. Church - It's amazing how many single black women are filling the pews at our local places of worship! But don't be trying to spit game during the sermons! Have some common sense and figure out the right time to do work!

2. House Parties - House Parties have always offered great opportunities to meet women. We've all know how it goes ... you see a girl across the room, your friend happens to know her, you get introduced and if your breath aint doo-doo, you gettin' them digits son!!

1. Social Networking/Happy Hour Events - There are dozens of professional and community groups who hold social networking functions. These Happy Hour events offer low-pressure opportunities to hold great conversations with members of the opposite sex! You don't have to worry about asking them to dance and you don't have to talk over loud music! You can just be yourself and see how things go!

I hope this article helps to stimulate some more love connections in the Valley of the Sun! If you have other suggestions on places to meet black females in the Phoenix metro area (keep it clean), share your Comments!

Where's the Nightlife for "Mature" Black People in the Phoenix Area?

PhxSoul.com has received numerous e-mails from African Americans who are seeking nightlife and entertainment venues for people in their 40s, 50s, 60s and above!

You know what? I've found that the "mature African American" crowd has some great options here in the Valley of the Sun!

Here's a list of PhxSoul.com's top nightlife and entertainment recommendations for mature African Americans in the Valley:

Phoenix

Bobby C's
1140 E. Washington St.
(602) 252-2273
Jazz brunch on Sunday and performances throughout the week.
View the online Calendar of Events for the most up-to-date schedule!

Char's Has the Blues
4631 N. 7th Ave
Phoenix, AZ
(602) 230-0205
You'll see people of all ages dancin' and havin' a good time in this legendary blues spot in Phoenix.

American Legion Post 65 - "The Legion"
1624 E. Broadway Road
Phoenix, AZ
You can always count on a good time at The Legion! The Legion caters to the 25 and older crowd. They always play good music, especially on the weekends, they have a kitchen, cheap drinks and the people are always friendly. Maybe a little too friendly at times. Another legendary spot in South Phoenix!

Sportsman Social Club
943 W Watkins St
Phoenix, AZ 85007
(602) 252-7153
This is a downhome spot where you can talk with old friends and make new ones. Sportsman Social Club hosts all kinds of events and draws people of all ages. This place is as casual and fun as it gets! Sportsman Social Club is one of South Phoenix's landmarks!

Michael's Cafe
5025 N. 7th Ave.
Phoenix, AZ
602-248-2233
Finally had a chance to visit Michael's Cafe in October 2011 and judging from the crowd I saw on a Friday night, this gathering spot in central Phoenix will be here for a long time to stay. Michael's Cafe, 5025 N. 7th Ave., Phoenix, bills itself as a soul food restaurant but the venue offers much more. It's a great place for grown, soulful folk to dance, have a few drinks, socialize and network.

Scottsdale

Kazimierz World Wine Bar
7137 E Stetson Dr. (Stetson is 1 block southwest of Camelback and Scottsdale Roads)
Scottsdale, AZ
It will be hard to find the bar from the street so you have to Valet Park and just ask the Valet where the bar is.
Mondays: 8-11 p.m. - Margo Reed
Thursdays: 8-11 p.m. - Dennis Rowland

Bobby's, a Mancuso Restaurant
7122 E. Greenway Parkway (at Kierland Commons)
Scottsdale, Arizona 85254
480-556-0770
Bobby's is a flashy, vibrant environment that reminds you of Vegas and Miami. The entertainment is one of the best kept secrets in town. The musicians play a mix of jazz, soul and R & B here.

West Valley

Skye Fine Dining and Entertainment
16844 N. Arrowhead Fountain Center Drive
Peoria, AZ
(623) 334-0010
I've been hearing great things about this place - live music every night and a lively crowd. Check out the Calendar of Events on the Website.

East Valley

Warren's Jazz Bistro
1451 East Williams Field Road, Suite 108
Gilbert, AZ
480-899-JAZZ(5299) 
The motto is, "Where Great Food & Live Jazz Meet!"

Everybody who goes to Warren's raves about the good music and great atmosphere!

PhxSoul.com will do its best to update this page on a regular basis, but I hope this is a good start!

Of course, there are many community events, concerts, theatrical performances and organizations which cater to a mature audience. Please be sure to review PhxSoul.com's Community Events Calendar and Nightclub Calendar to find out what else is goin' on in the Valley of the Sun!

And please feel free to click on the Comments link below or send an e-mail to PhxSoul.com to share your entertainment/nightlife information with others!

Five Great Restaurants for Romance in the Phoenix Area

I've had a few of my boys ask me for recommendations on romantic restaurants in the Valley of the Sun for Valentine's Day.

I'd like to think that these grown men would show their women how much they love them by taking the time to research their own Valentine's Day restaurants.

However, I understand that people get busy and need a little help.

Thus, Mr. PhxSoul.com is coming to your rescue with MY list of Five Great Restaurants for Romance in the Phoenix area!

Make your reservations now!

5. Chelsea's Kitchen - 5040 N. 40th St., Phoenix.

I love the energy here. You could have a great time at Chelsea's Kitchen whether you're having dinner for two or with a group of friends. I love the bar/patio area and the food is really good. Read my article about Chelsea's Kitchen for more info.

4. Mastro's City Hall - 6991 E. Camelback Road, Scottsdale.

I took my baby here for our first anniversary and received some of the best service I've ever had in my life! The food is tremendous and the restaurant has a great ambiance with live music!

3. Rokerij - 6335 N 16th St., Phoenix.

A very charming restaurant with some of the best food in town! It's a nice, cozy, dark restaurant with big booths and a fireplace. You'll see the specials of the day written on chalkboards that lined the wooden walls - a real cool touch. Make sure you visit the bar downstairs before you eat and/or after you finish your dinner, it's one of the best places to get a drink in Phoenix!

2. Talavera at the Four Seasons Resort - 10600 E. Crescent Moon Drive, Scottsdale

Let me start by staying that I know this place is EXPENSIVE! I took my wife here on our first anniversary in August 2009 and I nearly choked when I got the bill. But the experience was worth every dime. We sat on the patio and couldn't help but to smile at the amazing views of the Valley of the Sun at night. We were surrounded by beautiful desert scenery and friendly people inside the restaurant. The service was impeccable and the appetizers, main course and dessert were all delectable! You have to experience Talavera at least once in your life!

1. Compass Room at The Hyatt Regency - 122 N Second St., Phoenix.

You can't beat the extraordinary views of the Valley of the Sun while dining in this restaurant. The Compass Room slowly rotates in a circle so you can see the entire Phoenix area! The food is above average, but the romance and scenery can't be beat.

• I encourage you to visit my Food & Drink and Music pages for more Romantic ideas!!

If you want to share your Romantic Restaurant suggestions with other PhxSoul.com readers, leave them in the COMMENTS area!

The Black Dating Scene in Phoenix - Let's Talk About the Good and Bad!

I've posted many Dating and Relationship-related entries on PhxSoul.com, but I'll be the first to tell you that I don't know everything about the African American dating scene here in the Valley of the Sun.

That's why I'm opening the floor to YOU the readers - the people in the Phoenix are who are single, dating, involved in relationships, married, whatever the case may be!

Let's start talking about dating and relationships here in Phoenix!

Here are some topics:

• If you're single, are you looking to date or are you taking some "me" time?
• If you're single, are you having difficulty finding a significant other? If so, why?
• Where do you go to meet people?
• If you're black and single, is the Valley a good place to find love?
• Are you a serial dater who can't seem to get your relationships to move to the next level?
• If you are a single mom or dad, are you having trouble finding a mate?
• If you're in a relationship or married, what advice do you have for others?
• If you choose to only date people outside of your race, why?
• Why do you think there are so many interracial couples in Arizona?

You are the stars of the show! Without you, PhxSoul.com is nothing!

Please click HERE make your Comments!

Where you at Ronda? Bruce, let's hear what you have to say! DAP, holla back! Strictly Interracial Dater, you out there? What's up Sharon? Jaine Blaize! Everybody chime in!!!

I hope you all are interested in creating a healthy dialogue about dating and relationships in the Phoenix area! This is a great way to learn from and appreciate each other!

The floor is yours ....

The Playing Field in Phoenix Is Equal When It Comes to Interracial Relationships!

We all know that the Phoenix area is a "hotbed" (forgive the pun) of opportunity for people who want to engage or are already engaged in interracial relationships.

The various cultures in the Valley of the Sun make it too easy for people of different backgrounds to intermingle, become friends and/or become more than friends.

Personally, I love and prefer to see black men and black women together, but I also support interracial relationships. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't support interracial couples because I used to be an Equal Opportunity Dater back in the day!

But I've really noticed a striking trend in the world of interracial relationships (especially in the Phoenix area) ... more black women are finding love with men of other races!

Do I have a problem with black women dating or marrying men of other races? ... NO!

But I do have a problem with black women claiming that black men are the ONLY ones who are choosing to date outside of their race! Sorry black women, you can't play that victim role anymore! And please don't tell me you were forced to date outside of your race because ALL the BLACK MEN are taken! That's hogwash! You're developing meaningful relationships with men of other races and that's fine with me! Don't diminish your love by saying you had no other choice! BE REAL and BE HAPPY!

I'm thrilled for ANYONE who finds love! The couples could be green-and-red, yellow-and-blue, purple-and-orange ... it doesn't matter to me as long as the lovers treat each other (and other people) with respect!

So black men, as far as I'm concerned, you're off the hook! There's no reason for you to feel guilty when you find genuine love with other cultures - black women are doin' it too!

I'm not trying to start an Interracial Love Parade here, but it's clear to me that the playing field is equal in the Phoenix area!

You are welcome to COMMENT on this topic by clicking here!

Online Dating: Love Is Just a Click Away!

In the past, I've written about "How Black Women Can Woo Black Men in Phoenix" and the "Top 5 Places to Find Black Professional Men in Phoenix."

Those blog entries have been extremely popular, but I'm about to blow the doors off the hinges when comes to meeting potential love interests in the Phoenix area!

Do you wanna know the quickest and easiest way for black people to find mates in the Valley of the Sun? Maaaan, this is so simple and I can't believe I haven't mentioned this in the past!

I see you sittin' on the edge of your chairs! Many of you have probably experimented with this method of finding dates in Phoenix.

So, what am I talking about?

 

ONLINE DATING!!

 

Somebody please make me understand why Online Dating seems to be such a dirty, little secret in America?

A few years ago, my wife and I went out to dinner with a couple who met on the Internet. They had been together for quite some time and when we asked them how they met ... they tried to stall us and fumbled over their words for a few minutes!

"Errrr uhh, see uhhhh, what had happened was, ooooh uhhh have you tried the baked beans yet? ..."

It was clear that they were embarrassed about having to admit the truth.

However, they finally 'fessed up and my wife and I thought it was cool! Their story was romantic, it was obvious that they were truly happy with each other and that's all that mattered to us!

C'mon y'all, it's the 21st century! The Internet is probably the main tool that connects us all!

We are well aware of the many reasons why businesses and individuals utilize the Information Superhighway, so why do people think it's so taboo to use the World Wide Web to find love?

I remember meeting a few women back in the day online. BlackPlanet.com was my second home in 2001! I had a few good dates and a few bad ones. Usually the bad dates happened with the women who didn't put their photos on their pages.

Oh I remember their excuses for not puttin' any pics on their profiles ...

"Oh I swear I look good, I just don't put my pic on my page cuz I need to protect my privacy!"

"Oh uhhh, I want a man to value me for my mind, not my face!"

Like a sucka, I took the bait and when I actually met them in person, they looked like Rerun from "What's Happenin' Now!"

Bottom line, Online Dating is the most practical way to meet people, especially in a metropolis that is as spread out as the Valley of the Sun!

With Online Dating, you can select which person is perfect for you based on looks, age, physique, profession, smoking habits, drinking habits, religion and the number of kids they have! The fun part is ... you never actually have to meet the person! You can make your choices from the comforts of your own home (or office)!

If you don't like what you see, you can quickly click on the next profile or visit a new dating Website instead of having to waste two or three hours on a boring, blind date! Don't get me started on the blind dates! I already told y'all about one of my nightmarish stories!

There are millions of people who use the Web to find their soulmates!

To those people who haven't given online dating a try, I have one thing to say ... "Get With the Times!"

Make A Fresh Start on Your First Date with Fresh Breath!

I was at a party recently talking to one of my boys and he was suffering from some serious halitosis! His breath was soooo bad, I asked him if he had eaten a dead body before he came to the party!

I handed him a whole pack of gum to remedy the situation, but that funny incident reminded of some that happened to me about five or six years ago. I hope you enjoy this story ...

My so-called friend set me up on a blind date. He described her as a 28-year-old, gorgeous, professional, educated, independent black woman with no kids who was fine as hell!

I thought to myself, "Wow! She sounds like a great catch! She might be the next Mrs. PhxSoul! I wonder why a brotha hasn't locked her down already!"

A few days later, I picked her up at her apartment and oh my lord, she was better than I imagined! She had a beautiful smile, she was polite, well-dressed and her body almost made me pass out! Fellas, you know what I'm talkin' about - one of those bodies that make you look around for another brotha just so you both could say, "DAAAAAAMN!"

It was cold that night so we rushed to my car. After she put on her seatbelt, she turned me and shouted, "I've got a great idea! I love sports so let's go to the Phoenix Coyotes game tonight!"

I thought to myself, "My boy hooked me up! A woman who loves sports? Oh man, I must be dreamin'! I was gonna take her to a romantic spot like LoLo's Chicken and Waffles, but a hockey game would be ten times better!"

She was almost giddy as I sped off to the game! She said, "Ohhhhhhh, I love me some hhhhhockey!"

And right at that moment, I smelled something so foul that it made me sit up straight in my driver's seat like somebody poked me in the butt with a needle! Tears welled up in my eyes. What was that smell? Did my cologne go bad on me? Did I forget to use deodorant? Did I step in some doo-doo on the way to car?

She smiled and added, "Hhhhhockey is great because of all the hhhhard-hhhhhhitting action!"

And then I realized what the smell was ... homegirl's breath was kickin' field goals!

And she kept using words that started with a H! Every H word that oozed out of her mouth was like a death blow to my nostrils!

• "Hhhhhhey, will you buy me a hhhhhhot dog at the game?"
• "The dating scene in Phoenix is hhhhhorrible!"
• "My favorite vacation spot is Hhhhhawaii! Hhhhhave you been to Hhhhhhawaii?"

I thought I was gonna throw up in my mouth! I rolled down my window to get some fresh air but my date yelled, "Hhhhhey, it's coooooold!"

I offered her some gum and she had the nerve to say, "Nooooo, I'm aiiiiight. You tryin' say somethin?" Then she laughed before I had a chance to answer!

Is it me or do all people with funky breath refuse to take the hint when you offer them a mint?

So we got to the game and her breath got worse! I thought the "hhhhhot dog" would help mask her breath but no such luck.

She was talkin' up a storm during the game and I think the fans near us caught a whiff of her breath because they kept looking at me like they were seasick! I couldn't understand how a girl so beautiful had so much rottenness inside of her!

Finally, one of the fans pulled me into the aisle and said, "Hey dude, I'm sorry, but you gotta do something about your girlfriend's breath! She's totally killin' all of us! My wife fainted three times and it's only the first period! Help us out bro!"

I told him to be patient because I had a plan to end the madness. All of the fans around me were staring at me with this look on their faces like, PLEASE SAVE US!! I knew I had to do something drastic!

I sat next to her and when my date started to speak, I jumped up, grabbed her jaw and shoved 10 pieces of gum in her mouth while screamin', "Ahhhhhhh! I can't take it no more woman! Yo breath smells like $#!+! Chew woman chew!"

And then things went black ...

I woke up two weeks later in the hospital with three doctors standing over me.

I asked them, "What happened? How did I get here?"

The doctors replied, "Don't worry Mr. PhxSoul, we were finally able to dislodge the hockey stick that your date crammed down your throat, but we still need to keep you here a few more days so we can remove the rest of the hockey pucks from your body. Boy, you must've had one bad blind date!"

The moral of this story ... bad breath can kill ya!

Happy datin' y'all!