Black Men in Phoenix ... Our Approach Is All Wrong!

During my 30+ years here on Earth, I've had the opportunity to attend many social gatherings - nightclubs, concerts, house parties, professional networking sessions, fundraisers, etc.

And during these gatherings, I've seen men try every approach in the book to "spit game" to women that they are attracted to.

I've seen men send their homeboy over to the woman to lay the groundwork ...

"Hey, my friend over there thinks you are a dime and would love to holla at ya."

Why are men still tryin' this move? It's wrong for so many reasons ... here's the top two:

A) The woman will think you are a coward for not having enough confidence to approach her on your own.

B) The woman may end up giving her phone number to your boy! I still remember the day I took my friend's love interest because he wasn't man enough to step to her by himself. She said, "If he's not confident enough to approach me, I don't want him!" Ended up dancing with her all night and kissed her while he watched! My boy learned his lesson after that!

I've seen men tug a woman's arm to get her attention as she's walking by ...

This always makes me laugh because the woman looks down at the man's hand if it's diseased! Fellas, you have no right to touch a woman if you don't know her. One of my boys is a chronic tugger! I won't give his name but let's call him "No Handles." Every time we go to a club, you can bet that he'll reach out for a woman's elbow and give her a corny look like, "What's up baby?" And she'll usually keep walkin' after she gives him the "get-yo-hands-off-of-me" look! You killin' me "No Handles!"

The dreaded ... "Hey Shawty!"

If a woman gives you the time of day after you yell, "Hey Shawty" at her, you deserve whatever drama comes with the package!

I won't tell you that I haven't struck out when approaching a woman in a club, at party or at a networking event ... trust me, I've had my fair share of disses in my day!

But I've also had a ton of success. Why?

Because I treat women with respect. My mama always says, "You get back what you put out!"

So if you're single and "on the prowl," take my advice with the three steps below and be respectful when a woman catches your eye and compels you to talk to her.

Introductions such as, "Hello," "Excuse me," or "How are you doing?" are simple, they may even be corny, but nine times out of 10, they work as long you exude confidence! Trust me, those "corny" introductions will buy you enough time to handle your business!

Second move … compliment her in a respectful way. Don’t talk about her phat @$$ or her milkduds!

Third move … you can buy yourself more time if you ask the woman questions about herself! No woman, wants to hear a man go on and on about his car, his job, his house, his kids, etc.

She wants to dominate the convo! All women want to dominate the convo! Ask her the right questions and she'll talk your damn head off!

It's smart to ask questions because you'll find out if she's really worth your time! There are plenty of women who suffer from diarrhea of the mouth! They'll talk way too much and give you enough info to make you realize that they got too much drama in their lives! Just give her a breathmint and move on if you meet one of those females!

If you can’t close the deal with these three steps, it wasn’t meant to be!

Don't curse the woman out or try to embarrass her because she didn't give you what you wanted.

Just keep tryin’ because there are plenty of fish in the sea who will appreciate a respectful approach!

Comments

[Skyler]

AMEN,and AMEN!!!! Kinda sad you have to give this advice to SOME "grown" men, but it needed to be said. I'm a 30+ single woman, and have experienced pretty much all of these scenarios. It absolutely makes the men that do know how to approach me, that much more appealing.